Why I Haven’t Been Blogging.

Well well well, it’s been a hot minute (*cough* three months) since I’ve checked in over here.  To those of you who have reached out checking to make sure I am alright after my rather abrupt departure, thank you for your kindness, I am just fine!  That being said, I figured it was about time to fill you all in on what’s been on going and why I haven’t been blogging lately.

university of notre dame golden dome

As you know, my husband graduated from the University of Notre Dame with his MBA back in May and we were scheduled to move down to Dallas early June (actually now that I think about it I don’t know if I ever officially announced the move to Dallas until now – whoops haha).  Then, to make things more interesting, I decided to leave my career in public accounting after three years and pursue an opportunity elsewhere.  What I hadn’t expected was that my new employer would want me down in Dallas almost immediately which meant moving down a full two weeks before Matt!  Cue me frantically trying to tie up loose ends, pack two weeks worth of clothes into a suitcase, and embark on a two day roadtrip down to D-town all by myself!

As you might expect, during that time blogging was put on the back burner.  I was without most of my belongings, without a photographer (also known as my husband), trying to navigate a brand new job as well as a new city.  While the plan was to pick up when Matt and I reunited, it took a while to get settled in, he immediately started working twelve hour days, and most weekends were spent either traveling or exploring our new city.

downtown dallas view from margaret hunt hill bridge

What happened next threw me for a loop: I found that I was less stressed than ever despite the fact that there were so many life events happening at once which is typically a trying time.  While I know that can be partially attributed to the fact that I now work normal hours and love my team at my new job, as well as partially to the abundant sunshine (the 40° in May in South Bend about killed me), but at the end of the day I knew the main reason was because I was no longer blogging.  It was a truly bittersweet revelation.  Though I missed it dearly, I couldn’t deny that I felt so much happier without it – a feeling I had never expected. It brought me so much joy and fulfillment for three years, how could I feel better without it?!

The truth is, I put so much pressure on myself to succeed and no matter how “good” I did, it felt that it was never enough in my eyes.  To add to it, I struggled with the comparison game on a daily basis; if i I looked one way I saw people who started after me who were now blogging full-time and it made me feel like a failure, and if I looked the other way I saw people who started before me who I was doing “better” than (more Instagram followers, more free clothes, etc. – you know the *important* things) and I felt a surge of pride and neither of these is a healthy feeling.  I craved a more “normal” and balanced life where I wasn’t constantly comparing myself.

ala moana beach park honolulu sunset

I also realized that I was able to enjoy this normal life more because I wasn’t constantly trying to “share” it.  I could go out with Matt or go for a walk in the evening or try a new restaurant or go on a trip to see my sisters in Hawaii without having to figure out when I would take pictures of my outfit, making sure my hair and makeup were done, being on the lookout for the best Snapchat moment, or even bringing my big camera with me!  Best of all, I could lay by the pool for half the day on Sunday without feeling guilty that I should be inside editing pictures and writing posts for the week.  At the end of the day it dawned on me that I liked my life so much more when it wasn’t shared – at least not with everyone and instead shared with those present.

This is not to trash talk blogging – I hope that’s not what you’re getting from this!  I loved this blog dearly for three years and it gave me so much – I now have friends all over the country, documentation of some of the best and most eventful years of my life, and it allowed me the chance to learn new skills, challenge myself, and immerse myself in an industry I thought was just a dream.  I was able to attend New York Fashion Week, help launch the opening of new stores and collections of some of my favorite brands, and meet women I had looked up to from afar.  I just don’t know that people understand how challenging it is, especially when you are balancing a full-time job, and that can be draining.  When I first started I told myself that I would keep at it as long as it was fun – I was never in it to make money or become famous, I just wanted a creative outlet since I spent my days in front of spreadsheets – and it finally got to that point.

napa valley wine country view from artesa

What it comes down to is this: it was time.  “There is a time and place for everything and a season for every activity under the Heavens.” (Eccelsiastes 3:1)  The bottom line is that the time to be a “fashion blogger” is behind me.   And the truth is that I feel okay with that!

That said, there will still be posts from time to time.  I miss blogging so much – I just needed to reevaluate.  Fashion will no longer be the main focus and posts won’t be as frequent.  However, travel guides for Chicago, Italy, and New York are waiting to go up and now that my husband works for an airline we have been able to travel more so I may post some travel pictures here and there.  I hope you’ll stick with me for those posts and endure the silence in between the transition.

wynwood walls one teaspoon bandit shorts

If I learned anything from my experience with this fashion blog so far it is this: don’t be afraid to try something new or chase a dream and don’t be afraid to admit it’s time to move on when that dream has been fulfilled.  Don’t get stuck in complacency either way!  Good, no, great, things await those who have the wisdom and the courage to do so!

Thank you so much for your support and friendship throughout these past few years and for hearing me out now – you truly mean so much to me!  Stay tuned for some fresh new content soon and let me know your thoughts on the changes ahead!

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