Why I Haven’t Been Blogging.

Well well well, it’s been a hot minute (*cough* three months) since I’ve checked in over here.  To those of you who have reached out checking to make sure I am alright after my rather abrupt departure, thank you for your kindness, I am just fine!  That being said, I figured it was about time to fill you all in on what’s been on going and why I haven’t been blogging lately.

university of notre dame golden dome

As you know, my husband graduated from the University of Notre Dame with his MBA back in May and we were scheduled to move down to Dallas early June (actually now that I think about it I don’t know if I ever officially announced the move to Dallas until now – whoops haha).  Then, to make things more interesting, I decided to leave my career in public accounting after three years and pursue an opportunity elsewhere.  What I hadn’t expected was that my new employer would want me down in Dallas almost immediately which meant moving down a full two weeks before Matt!  Cue me frantically trying to tie up loose ends, pack two weeks worth of clothes into a suitcase, and embark on a two day roadtrip down to D-town all by myself!

As you might expect, during that time blogging was put on the back burner.  I was without most of my belongings, without a photographer (also known as my husband), trying to navigate a brand new job as well as a new city.  While the plan was to pick up when Matt and I reunited, it took a while to get settled in, he immediately started working twelve hour days, and most weekends were spent either traveling or exploring our new city.

downtown dallas view from margaret hunt hill bridge

What happened next threw me for a loop: I found that I was less stressed than ever despite the fact that there were so many life events happening at once which is typically a trying time.  While I know that can be partially attributed to the fact that I now work normal hours and love my team at my new job, as well as partially to the abundant sunshine (the 40° in May in South Bend about killed me), but at the end of the day I knew the main reason was because I was no longer blogging.  It was a truly bittersweet revelation.  Though I missed it dearly, I couldn’t deny that I felt so much happier without it – a feeling I had never expected. It brought me so much joy and fulfillment for three years, how could I feel better without it?!

The truth is, I put so much pressure on myself to succeed and no matter how “good” I did, it felt that it was never enough in my eyes.  To add to it, I struggled with the comparison game on a daily basis; if i I looked one way I saw people who started after me who were now blogging full-time and it made me feel like a failure, and if I looked the other way I saw people who started before me who I was doing “better” than (more Instagram followers, more free clothes, etc. – you know the *important* things) and I felt a surge of pride and neither of these is a healthy feeling.  I craved a more “normal” and balanced life where I wasn’t constantly comparing myself.

ala moana beach park honolulu sunset

I also realized that I was able to enjoy this normal life more because I wasn’t constantly trying to “share” it.  I could go out with Matt or go for a walk in the evening or try a new restaurant or go on a trip to see my sisters in Hawaii without having to figure out when I would take pictures of my outfit, making sure my hair and makeup were done, being on the lookout for the best Snapchat moment, or even bringing my big camera with me!  Best of all, I could lay by the pool for half the day on Sunday without feeling guilty that I should be inside editing pictures and writing posts for the week.  At the end of the day it dawned on me that I liked my life so much more when it wasn’t shared – at least not with everyone and instead shared with those present.

This is not to trash talk blogging – I hope that’s not what you’re getting from this!  I loved this blog dearly for three years and it gave me so much – I now have friends all over the country, documentation of some of the best and most eventful years of my life, and it allowed me the chance to learn new skills, challenge myself, and immerse myself in an industry I thought was just a dream.  I was able to attend New York Fashion Week, help launch the opening of new stores and collections of some of my favorite brands, and meet women I had looked up to from afar.  I just don’t know that people understand how challenging it is, especially when you are balancing a full-time job, and that can be draining.  When I first started I told myself that I would keep at it as long as it was fun – I was never in it to make money or become famous, I just wanted a creative outlet since I spent my days in front of spreadsheets – and it finally got to that point.

napa valley wine country view from artesa

What it comes down to is this: it was time.  “There is a time and place for everything and a season for every activity under the Heavens.” (Eccelsiastes 3:1)  The bottom line is that the time to be a “fashion blogger” is behind me.   And the truth is that I feel okay with that!

That said, there will still be posts from time to time.  I miss blogging so much – I just needed to reevaluate.  Fashion will no longer be the main focus and posts won’t be as frequent.  However, travel guides for Chicago, Italy, and New York are waiting to go up and now that my husband works for an airline we have been able to travel more so I may post some travel pictures here and there.  I hope you’ll stick with me for those posts and endure the silence in between the transition.

wynwood walls one teaspoon bandit shorts

If I learned anything from my experience with this fashion blog so far it is this: don’t be afraid to try something new or chase a dream and don’t be afraid to admit it’s time to move on when that dream has been fulfilled.  Don’t get stuck in complacency either way!  Good, no, great, things await those who have the wisdom and the courage to do so!

Thank you so much for your support and friendship throughout these past few years and for hearing me out now – you truly mean so much to me!  Stay tuned for some fresh new content soon and let me know your thoughts on the changes ahead!

  • MK!!! I am SOO excited for you as you venture into a new area. I totally know the feeling of thinking you constantly need to be writing up posts and capturing that “perfect” Insta worthy pic. Have fun in a new city + new blog!!

    • Thank you so much Grace, that means so much to me! I’m so glad that you could relate – blogging is such a roller coaster of highs and lows but I loved the ride! Best of luck in your own newest venture, I saw your post on Facebook – sad you won’t finish at BC but once a Raven always a Raven!

  • This is such a true, beautiful post. Darcy recommended your blog to check for Napa/Sonoma tips and I’ve loved them so I definitely think travel tips are a good way to go!!

    • Thank you so much Sarita! I am glad that you enjoyed the Napa/Sonoma tips and hopefully the ones to come will be just as helpful!

  • Ok girlfriend, I both loved and disliked this post all in one fell swoop!! I am SO happy that I got to know you through blogging and I absolutely hate it made you feel that way. But to be honest, i think almost everyone has felt that way at some
    point. It’s my full-time job and sometimes I get burned out on it. When I was preparing to move over the last two weeks I HAD to take a step back from t to remove some of the stress!

    I’m so glad you’re happy and less stressed now! I will stick around for the travel guides and everything else you decide to bring to your space! ? Hope you’ll still be on insta! Xoxo

    • Thank you SO much Em! I am truly so glad I met you and one of these days we will still make it happen in person 🙂 It was cathartic to put my feelings out there and it always helped when I heard that I wasn’t alone so hopefully this can be that relatable post for other bloggers.

      Hope your move went well and good for you taking some time off to make it happen – moving is stresssssful!!

      Oh, and I’ll definitely still be on Insta sharing outfits and travel 🙂

  • MK – I absolutely love this post. Thank you so much for sharing! As a fairly “new” blogger, these feelings still resonate with me, even now! While I only post once every week or so (for these reasons exactly) this sentence especially stuck out to me: “Best of all, I could lay by the pool for half the day on Sunday without feeling guilty that I should be inside editing pictures and writing posts for the week.” There is so much about blogging I enjoy and want to share, but I didn’t realize before I ventured into the field just how much work all the backend and behind-the-scenes takes—and I don’t think others realize this either. I, like you, am not in it to become famous, make money, but rather as a creative outlet and to inspire young women. I will definitely be reflecting over your post as I continue to blog; it’s so easy to get caught up in the comparison and stress game! Thank you for your realness, vulnerability, and this beautiful post! All the best to you in Dallas – stay in touch!

    • Thank you so much for the kind words! I am so glad that this post resonated with you – I always appreciated when bloggers shared honestly and showed me I wasn’t alone, so I hope this post can be that relatable post for others. You really don’t know how much work it is until you start blogging yourself haha but it’s worth it.

      Funny that you liked that line because it was actually the last sentence I threw in during the last revision. The whole thing came together really quickly but in the end I felt like that sentence needed to be in there because it is 100% the truth haha.

      Hope you are doing well and definitely stay in touch!

  • This post made me both sad (because I LOVE your posts and style!) but also happy (because you’re realizing what works for you and what doesn’t). Trust me, I totally get everything you’re talking about. Blogging is so much fun, but it can definitely put so much unneeded stress and pressure on life. Excited for you and new adventures and enjoying life off-line and you know I’ll definitely be popping in every time there are new posts (Yay for more travels!) no matter how long they are in between! xx

    • Sorry for the super late response but thank you SO MUCH for the continued support! Your friendship means so much to me and I am so glad that we were able to meet and support one another!

  • Olivia Gochnour

    I just love you. This is a very well written post and I totally understand how you feel!! Finding a balance is key and has made me sooo much happier!

    • Thank you so much for the sweet comment Olivia! I’m so glad you were able to relate, I always love your posts and I think it’s because you focus on quality over quantity and I hope I can emulate that going forward!

  • Ellese Launer

    Congrats on all the incredible and amazing life adventures. Sometimes it is important to unplug and enjoy the process that is before you. I cannot wait to see what else happens next. Thanks for sharing. Xo, Ellese